Finding Happiness — Choosing to Let Go of Anger and Hatred
We search for our own joy and happiness every day. Yet life inevitably brings moments of dissatisfaction: you might be taken advantage of at work, or having conflicts with family or friends, or even being cut in line by a stranger while waiting for the bus. At such times, will you choose resentment? Will you choose anger towards these people?
The Dalai Lama has observed that anger and hatred are the greatest obstacles to our pursuit of happiness. When we choose to nurture anger and hatred, these intense emotions cloud our judgment and erode our reason and inner peace.
During times of emotional turmoil, try practicing mindfulness and meditation.
Mindfulness and meditation allow us to notice the tension anger creates in our bodies, observe our triggered reactions, and attempt to accept the discomfort these emotions bring. We can also practice focusing our attention and awareness on our breath, feeling the rise and fall of our chest with each inhalation and exhalation, relaxing our bodies, and grounding ourselves in the present moment.
When you feel calm, try practicing empathy toward those who have hurt you. Ask yourself: What might have driven them to act in hurtful ways?
You don’t need to condone their actions, but you can seek to understand their underlying motives — perhaps rooted in fear, or shaped by distorted values formed in their upbringing.
As you practice seeing through another’s lens, anger and resentment gradually lose their piercing edge. Understanding softens their grip, making these heavy emotions easier to release.
Letting go of anger is like releasing a poison for the soul. By choosing mindfulness to accept our emotions and using our breath to reclaim present-moment calm, we free ourselves from the shackles of negativity and make space for happiness. True happiness begins with the choice to let go.